sick with life..

argh.. im so moody now, i don't know y! frust about assignments, about ppl, about life, about wat people are thinking, about myself, about nothing!! i don;t know! some1 please help me :( getting bored with life !!

well, first of all, one more thing i discovered in australia is that there are all sorts of people.. this kind, that kind, selfish, those who use ppl, those who are bossy, those who are childish (me), those "dr. know it all", those wannabe, those talkative, those gossiping, those who just stick to ppl all the time, bla bla bla.. and the list goes on!! aihs, and i've seen these kinda ppl and ever encountered them.. however, not that bad too.. well, i have seen ppl that are good, kind, playful, self motivating, cheerful, bla bla bla.. aihs.. there are good and bad.. but how u define good and bad ppl (geraldine says that :p )? i also cannot judge ppl, however, we tend to judge ppl on our first sight! thats human.. :( and thats also me! :p (dono wat m i talking about)

i always tell myself "don't care about wat other ppl think, or wat ppl do, just care about wat u do!" but it seems that i can't..and i know that very clearly that im doing it, fark! and that im doing it gonna destroy my life and relationship .. :( argh.. but still :( i need time.. and time.. and time.. or sometimes it is true that u will appreciate watever u lose, and i think i have to go through that kinda situation in order for me to "wake up" .. and by that time i know wats the feeling of loosing something :( it is too late.. but touch wood first..

its also true that i like to treat every1 like children.. well.. its because im also "dr. know it all" and wannabe.. damn me! shit me! well.. i have to change too!! cause as my darling told too :" he/she is mature/big enuf to take care or think of him/herself.. ..." which is very true.. but still.. time time time.. and david told me too :" who m i to tell him/her who he is .... " very true.. but still .. alexie this stupid guy..don wanna listen! and this will also affect him!! man.. i hate myself so much.. but lotsa ppl say that u must love urself b4 u love ppl.. and that i can't do too.. how m i suppose to love geraldine? argh!!! fed up of myself!!! some1 please help me!! dit.. help me :(

also in uni.. all sorts of ppl.. get into a fight/argue with some1, so called fren.. but i learnt from my mistake too to not mix personal and work life.. which is the root of the problem.. and i also learnt that everyone deserve a second chance! well.. i think i deserve in my case .. so, fark off mate.. so.. don't care wat he thinks of feel or say to u!! cause mom always tell me too !! :" he is not the one giving u money or supporting u to do stuff!! don care about him.. care about urself!! " thanks mom :) love u so much!!

argh!! well.. come to think of it.. those advice that i get from my family and friends.. really frust me up!! argh!! sick of life! frust about it :( but.. life.. still have to go on.. and im still living with all the mistakes that i made.. and trying mybest to change.. which need time.. and hope some1 will give those time to me :( .. and i also wanna thank those who support me and in advicing me.. a big thank you to u guys.. and too.. the one who be frank to me.. telling me my mistakes.. thank you!! and whoever concern me.. thank you.. and for those who dislike me! fark off to the land "far far away" ..

one more thing i learnt in life.. nothing will be the same forever.. no matter how hard u try to tell urself that its the same.. its NOT! at least for me .. but, i will try my best to make things work out and hopefully those things that i do will turn out to be alright and it will make things better.. so.. good luck alexie ;) thanks for those loved ones who care and always support me (including myself).. aihs.. life..

its time for meditation.. psycho alex :p